Here are my all time top 5 ways of getting off smack
1. Going away to a hot country.
Take lots of valium (blue 10mls) and some subutex. You should start the valium before the withdrawals and then continue for the first 2 days. Then take a subutex which will remove the remaining gear but not make you feel sick like a naltroxone. Continue with the valium and take subutex for the next few days before stopping. In the mean time go out and have fun. The warm weather will mask the sweats plus you should have access to a nice swimming pool to cool down in and relax those muscles.
I have done this 3 times without discomfort. In fact twice I had normal holidays and didn't even notice the cluck. I may have been benzoed up but I got laid and got a sun tan as well as getting clean.
2. Methadone Reduction
Different people have different stories to tell with this one. I personally hate the juice and coming off it takes 3 times as long as coming off gear. If you can manage to reduce the juice very very slowly over a long period of time then you shouldn't notice the cluck too much. Try and switch to subutex when on a low dosage. I wouldn't recommend just stopping on 30ml or more unless you want to spend 2 weeks in bed rolling around like a pillsbury doughboy in a pool of sweat.
3. Subutex Switch
Stopping the gear and switching to Subutex. This is a tricky one as you have to get it right as if you take a subutex too early it can have naltroxone like effects. I used to pin them (not recommended) and never had any problems until one day it sent me to hell! Trying to pin a second one was also a very stupid thing to do. The first time I did subutex the doctor got the script wrong and instead of giving me 2mls gave me 0.2mls. I was clucking all weekend wondering why the fuck these pills were so shit. Thanks doc!
4. Naltroxone swallowed in the morning.
This is what Detox 5 and other inhouse quick detoxes do except they charge you thousands for it and keep your locked in a room. Taking a naltroxone with gear in your system is not a nice thing to do as it will kick any opiates in your body out there and then and its not a nice experience. However if you can get through the first 4 hours or so then it gets better and by the morning the worst of it will be over. You can try taking other pills to negate the horribleness but you will most likely just throw them back up as soon as the naltroxone kicks in. I have done this a few times when I needed to get clean very quick and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wants as little pain as possible.
5. The old rattle and roll dry bare boned pill free cluck.
This method involves just stopping the gear and clucking it out. The best part of the cluck should be over by the fourth day but it will be four days of rolling from side to side with no concentration, no appetite and a depression of a thousand fore fathers to contemplate. As the pain increases in your body you will find your mind becoming more fine tuned. You will hear the birds singing and actually pay attention, you will feel the grit on your teeth and the clamminess of your skin once again. Lots of warm baths and brushing of the teeth will help and if you have someone to fuck then expel as much dirty water as possible as that most definitely helps.
Detox 5 and other magical detoxes
Coming off heroin is easy I've done it lots of times...
Smack addiction is not an easy habit to kick and no-one should ever believe those adverts that promise to get you clean pain free within 5 days. For a cost of £2.5k you will be locked in a room on a ward in a private "hospital" and for 4 and a half days force fed a little pot full of valium, quinine, britlofex and other pills every 2 hours whether you want them or not. Even if you're asleep you will be woken up to be given your meds along with a blood pressure test. On the Thursday at lunch time you will be given half a naltroxone tablet which will kick any remaining gear out your system and then you'll be offered a weetabix or two to eat. Friday lunch time you will have a little chat with the shrink to see if you have learnt your lesson given a couple months prescription of sleeping pills and out the door you go never to hear from them again.
If that sounds good to you then crack on but it doesn't work for most people. For one thing you're not asleep for the whole 5 days you just will have a hard time remembering going stir crazy, trying to break through then jump out the barred windows or getting strong armed back to your room when you go for a benzo induced wander to pass the time. Plus the after care is shit. Why, because there is no after care. As I said at the beginning coming of gear is the easy part its the staying off thats the hard part. You need support and help as soon as your clean and its very easy to just walk out of the detox center up to the nearset big issue seller and score a bag. Either that or walk straight into the nearest pub and go bang on the pop because its the only thing that will stop your legs shaking from the naltroxone.
Some people try the naltroxone implants and I myself have tried both the the 6 month implants (at a cost of £1200 at the time) and the pills which my Mum used to have to force down my throat every morning. I used to be clever and hide them under my tounge and then spit them out until one day I accidentally swallowed one. I had to wait til she had cleared off before going to the toilet and trying to force myself to throw it back up. No joy. Half an hour later pure hell began. If you have never ever wished death upon yourself to ease the pain of living then try taking a naltroxone with gear in your system. Having it fly out of both ends with adrenaline pumping round your body and the sudden rush of feelings both mental and physical that come flying back to you as the opiates are kicked off those receptors by the heavy DM boot wearing naltroxone is enough to make you wish for a quick end. I literally crawled the half mile to the nearest dealers house and smoked £50 worth of brown just to take the edge off.
If you can handle that sort of cluck then at least its quick. A 5 day cluck in one day with the worst part over in the first 3 hours (if you survive).
The implant although expensive is better than the pills for the following reason. Once you have it in you there is no way you can cheat yourself unlike the pills which you can avoid taking. Therefore I found that I thought about doing it less because I knew I couldn't unless I cut it out of my gut (and I know 2 people who have done just that). However every so often I would still try a boot to see if it had worn off and you will find some implants last 6months and others like my first one did lasted almost a year.
Also if your implant goes tits up which they often do then there is no money back from the Stapleford Centre or Detox 5. I know someone who a month after having the implant it started leaking its pellets into his gut. He was happy as it meant he could get a hit but his gut was infected and once he tried contacting them for a replacement they said he would have to pay.
Remember these Naltroxone implants haven't actually been approved properly by our health service and often they get impounded on entering the country due to their semi legal status.
However pills or implant if you are not ready to get off it then there is no point in even trying. Doing it for someone elses benefit like a girlfirend or family just means you will spend that time cheating and plotting a way back to the gear and £2,500 is a lot of money to spend just to go back on the gear at the end.
Another thing about naltroxone is the overdose effect. The only two times I have been to hospital due to overdosing it when I have had hits after stopping taking the naltroxone. You can stop the pills one day and bang up that day, the next day and the day after with no affect then on the fourth day you could have half a bag and go straight into a coma.
I also know some people who have done the Detox 5 trip to Spain in Alicante and been knocked out with injected meds and had the naltroxone implant sewn straight into their gut. They were supposed to be unconsious for the whole period but can remember going mad literally with the pain of the naltroxone kicking the smack out their brain literally. Once again does not remembering the event completley due to memory affecting meds actually equal a pain free experience>? No I don't think it does and nor did they.
So there you have it. Not a medical opinion but my opinion on the matter as someone who has tried most detox methods. As I said coming off smack is easy I've done it lots of times.
Smack addiction is not an easy habit to kick and no-one should ever believe those adverts that promise to get you clean pain free within 5 days. For a cost of £2.5k you will be locked in a room on a ward in a private "hospital" and for 4 and a half days force fed a little pot full of valium, quinine, britlofex and other pills every 2 hours whether you want them or not. Even if you're asleep you will be woken up to be given your meds along with a blood pressure test. On the Thursday at lunch time you will be given half a naltroxone tablet which will kick any remaining gear out your system and then you'll be offered a weetabix or two to eat. Friday lunch time you will have a little chat with the shrink to see if you have learnt your lesson given a couple months prescription of sleeping pills and out the door you go never to hear from them again.
If that sounds good to you then crack on but it doesn't work for most people. For one thing you're not asleep for the whole 5 days you just will have a hard time remembering going stir crazy, trying to break through then jump out the barred windows or getting strong armed back to your room when you go for a benzo induced wander to pass the time. Plus the after care is shit. Why, because there is no after care. As I said at the beginning coming of gear is the easy part its the staying off thats the hard part. You need support and help as soon as your clean and its very easy to just walk out of the detox center up to the nearset big issue seller and score a bag. Either that or walk straight into the nearest pub and go bang on the pop because its the only thing that will stop your legs shaking from the naltroxone.
Some people try the naltroxone implants and I myself have tried both the the 6 month implants (at a cost of £1200 at the time) and the pills which my Mum used to have to force down my throat every morning. I used to be clever and hide them under my tounge and then spit them out until one day I accidentally swallowed one. I had to wait til she had cleared off before going to the toilet and trying to force myself to throw it back up. No joy. Half an hour later pure hell began. If you have never ever wished death upon yourself to ease the pain of living then try taking a naltroxone with gear in your system. Having it fly out of both ends with adrenaline pumping round your body and the sudden rush of feelings both mental and physical that come flying back to you as the opiates are kicked off those receptors by the heavy DM boot wearing naltroxone is enough to make you wish for a quick end. I literally crawled the half mile to the nearest dealers house and smoked £50 worth of brown just to take the edge off.
If you can handle that sort of cluck then at least its quick. A 5 day cluck in one day with the worst part over in the first 3 hours (if you survive).
The implant although expensive is better than the pills for the following reason. Once you have it in you there is no way you can cheat yourself unlike the pills which you can avoid taking. Therefore I found that I thought about doing it less because I knew I couldn't unless I cut it out of my gut (and I know 2 people who have done just that). However every so often I would still try a boot to see if it had worn off and you will find some implants last 6months and others like my first one did lasted almost a year.
Also if your implant goes tits up which they often do then there is no money back from the Stapleford Centre or Detox 5. I know someone who a month after having the implant it started leaking its pellets into his gut. He was happy as it meant he could get a hit but his gut was infected and once he tried contacting them for a replacement they said he would have to pay.
Remember these Naltroxone implants haven't actually been approved properly by our health service and often they get impounded on entering the country due to their semi legal status.
However pills or implant if you are not ready to get off it then there is no point in even trying. Doing it for someone elses benefit like a girlfirend or family just means you will spend that time cheating and plotting a way back to the gear and £2,500 is a lot of money to spend just to go back on the gear at the end.
Another thing about naltroxone is the overdose effect. The only two times I have been to hospital due to overdosing it when I have had hits after stopping taking the naltroxone. You can stop the pills one day and bang up that day, the next day and the day after with no affect then on the fourth day you could have half a bag and go straight into a coma.
I also know some people who have done the Detox 5 trip to Spain in Alicante and been knocked out with injected meds and had the naltroxone implant sewn straight into their gut. They were supposed to be unconsious for the whole period but can remember going mad literally with the pain of the naltroxone kicking the smack out their brain literally. Once again does not remembering the event completley due to memory affecting meds actually equal a pain free experience>? No I don't think it does and nor did they.
So there you have it. Not a medical opinion but my opinion on the matter as someone who has tried most detox methods. As I said coming off smack is easy I've done it lots of times.
Drought Driving Me Crazy
The brown river is running very dry down here
Now why has this drought come around? I have heard a number of theories which started off with a major drug bust in London of £100 million + worth of gear found in a boot of a car and a major gang taken off the street. But as we all know as one dealer goes down another one takes their place and one bust in London should not dry out most of the country. I have heard that its dry out west, up north in Manchester and even Liverpool where a lot of the smack comes into this country.
The war in Afghanistan was another reason. Remember Tony Blair giving this as one reason to go to war over there? That country produces 90% of the worlds smack and they were going to stop it all at the source. Well lets have a short history lesson about the Stan and its opium production.
-Soviet Union invades in 78.
-USA sees this as a way of sucking them into their own Vietnam war and backs the rebels and Islamic fundamentalists. To help fund the guerrilla war effort and also demoralise the young conscript Soviet army they come up with the idea of growing opium. As well as getting the money from this cash crop to fund the war and getting the invading army hooked on smack it was also one of the few crops that earns the poorest people in that part of the world any money.
-After the war is over the opium keeps coming and the rest of the world is basically flooded with it. I wouldn't be surprised if the CIA saw this as a nice little earner just like the arms one way, coke the other secret flights they did in the 80's with the contras in South America.
-The Taliban come to power and see the drug as un-Islamic and actually ban the growing of the crop. Opium production drops dramatically.
-9-11 happens and then the USA, UK invade the Stan once again to kick the Taliban's ass and stop the evil terrorists as well as the evil drug trade that keeps most of the country alive.
-Ummm whats this? Opium production since the "War on Terror" actually increases year on year with record breaking crops and once again cheap smack is hitting the streets of the UK.
In fact this year the Stan had another bumper crop of Opium and the UK, USA are not in fact even trying to stop the planting, growing and exportation of the crop as
a) Most of the country are involved in either growing or trading in it and they are trying to get the local population on side so taking away their livelihood will only drive young men into working for the Taliban.
b) The CIA, MI5, ISI and other "secret service" intelligence organisations who are involved in dodgy deeds that they often have to fund themselves "off book" so to speak are probably involved up to their necks in the trade themselves and why would they want to kill a golden goose? If you don't believe me about the CIA and drugs just do a Google search and read one of the million articles available.
So if the Stan has had another bumper crop what the fuck is going on and why is there no gear on the streets? Well a BBC news report I saw the other day actually gave a couple of reasons.
1. The increasing middle class of China and Russia means that the markets for smack and other illegal drugs is growing. As these 2 countries are closer to the Stan it seems that a lot of the drug is going north to Russia and east to China rather than to the west through Iran, Turkey, Kosovo, Italy and then UK.
2. There seems to be some disruption of the trade going on by the authorities in Turkey. The main 2 groups who trade smack in the UK are the Turks and the Pakistanis and they both have their own links, routes into the country and sources etc. As most of the drug comes through Turkey on its way here then that's going to be a killer.
So there you have the reason. We are not nicking more dealers and we are not stopping the evil terrorists from growing it out in the Stan. The drugs are out there but just not coming our way at the moment. Hopefully the Turks will sort their shit out and it will get better quickly. No-one wants to have their house or car robbed and no-one wants to bang up crushed up Nurofen and get blood clots and no hit. So its in all our interests that the smack starts coming back.
Remember a heroin addict is not very likely at all to commit a violent act to get money to pay for their habit as that's usually done by desperate crack heads and also don't forget all those piss heads stumbling out the pub at closing time. They do not hang out on street corners giving you grief as you walk to the shops and they do not want any trouble all they want is to get their money the easiest way how and once they have it they sit at home and sleep. I will leave the debate about prescribing heroin to addicts for another day and I am not condoning any sort of criminal behaviour that affects others. However as we do not prescribe heroin to addicts and there are a hell of a lot of addicts out there this means that they will be robbing to pay for it. So a drought that reduces the market may hopefully reduce habits in the long run but it will mean people commit twice as much crime as they need twice as much money to buy their medicine.
And before anyone shouts at me I work for my living and my habit and I would recommend any junkie who can do the same. It reduces the amount of time you spend at home booting and it takes your mind off the shit that daily life usually is.
New Years Resolutions
Not another unfulfilled new years resolution
Right this is the first lot of poems I'm putting up on this new site. I used to actually have a dedicated site for all my poems but then again I used to have a lot of other things as well including in no particular order: my health, a fit rich girlfriend, no debts, veins, money in the bank. Well not to worry coz I may be what the Oxford Dictionary terms a "fuck up" but I'm not finished yet. You know why?? Coz I have a plan. Yes I may have been in this game since 97 and yes a lot of good friends have fallen along the way but I am still standing and have a little thing called hope. A bit of that and the knowledge that whatever comes to pass I am still a good person no matter what bad shit I have done in the past is keeping me headstrong. So I wrote a list this New Years day of things I want to do this year and starting writing again was one of them.
Life is a long journey made up of many little steps and the first step of mine is to put up all my old material in the hope that it will inspire me to write some new stuff. So here it is. Make of it what you will. If you have some good stuff of your own feel free to post. And to anyone out there who cares: have a good life if you want one! Laters.
Jingle Jangle
Jingle Jangle, Jingle Jangle
My heads up my arse like a fucking spangle.
Coz I'm banged up, Clanged up and rattling to fuck,
but that's the price I pay for running out of luck.
Prison food, the dog food, all the fucking swill,
none of it matters when you're feeling this ill.
The bunk beds, razors edge, I'm on my torture rack,
none of it would matter if someone would give me some smack.
Keep twisting and turning in a moments toil,
God I wish I had a beetle crawling down the foil.
These messed up games, the ones we like to play,
all I wanted was a gram a day.
So hurry up Joey, you said you'd be quick,
shit it's getting late, looks like I'm gonna go sick.
There's sweat on my back and fire in my brain,
I aint ever gonna touch that shit again.
All right babe, just a touch, just to see it pass,
then I promise you finito at last.
So what ever comes, or come what may,
the Wigstars the man, let me hear you say,
Jingle Jangle, Jingle Jangle,
I'm all fucked up, I'm a fucking Spangle.
My heads up my arse like a fucking spangle.
Coz I'm banged up, Clanged up and rattling to fuck,
but that's the price I pay for running out of luck.
Prison food, the dog food, all the fucking swill,
none of it matters when you're feeling this ill.
The bunk beds, razors edge, I'm on my torture rack,
none of it would matter if someone would give me some smack.
Keep twisting and turning in a moments toil,
God I wish I had a beetle crawling down the foil.
These messed up games, the ones we like to play,
all I wanted was a gram a day.
So hurry up Joey, you said you'd be quick,
shit it's getting late, looks like I'm gonna go sick.
There's sweat on my back and fire in my brain,
I aint ever gonna touch that shit again.
All right babe, just a touch, just to see it pass,
then I promise you finito at last.
So what ever comes, or come what may,
the Wigstars the man, let me hear you say,
Jingle Jangle, Jingle Jangle,
I'm all fucked up, I'm a fucking Spangle.
By Steven "Michael" Williams
Freedom of the Street
I met a tramp with a stomach cramp,
about to bang up a methadone amp.
He was hungry, cold, smelly and old,
had a runny nose from a smack addicts cold.
He justs wants to be warm.
Warm and stoned,
his blagging technique a fine art he’s honed.
Years of begging, robbing and skanking,
a loveless life but free of nagging.
He’s his own man, a man of the street,
living life light on his feet.
He don’t care that no-one else does,
he survives this life with a heroin buzz.
People may stare, spit and shout,
but the drink and drugs block it all out.
He sits on the floor, all alone,
Burtons shop doorway his very own home.
about to bang up a methadone amp.
He was hungry, cold, smelly and old,
had a runny nose from a smack addicts cold.
He justs wants to be warm.
Warm and stoned,
his blagging technique a fine art he’s honed.
Years of begging, robbing and skanking,
a loveless life but free of nagging.
He’s his own man, a man of the street,
living life light on his feet.
He don’t care that no-one else does,
he survives this life with a heroin buzz.
People may stare, spit and shout,
but the drink and drugs block it all out.
He sits on the floor, all alone,
Burtons shop doorway his very own home.
By DoubleDipped
Sweet Dreams
Sweet Dreams,
dreaming of you,
all dressed in blue,
pink or red,
whatever you wear, you’re in my head.
All night, I toss and turn,
hoping for that chance,
a kiss on the lips,
a midnight dance.
The moonlight weeping,
holding hands and making plans,
wedding bells and baby smells,
a partner for life with my imaginary wife.
I touch my cock.
sweet dreams turn to wet dreams.
I wake up covered in sweat,
but I’ll never forget.
That’s where she’ll stay,
in my head, but in my bed..
dreaming of you,
all dressed in blue,
pink or red,
whatever you wear, you’re in my head.
All night, I toss and turn,
hoping for that chance,
a kiss on the lips,
a midnight dance.
The moonlight weeping,
holding hands and making plans,
wedding bells and baby smells,
a partner for life with my imaginary wife.
I touch my cock.
sweet dreams turn to wet dreams.
I wake up covered in sweat,
but I’ll never forget.
That’s where she’ll stay,
in my head, but in my bed..
By DoubleDipped
Jobless Opportunities
Being on the dole,
what fun!
Oh the joy of signing on.
the pleasure of the unemployed,
the workers unite, the jobless destroyed.
Sitting at home, alone,
smoking bone,
chatting on my mobile phone.
I need drugs to pass the time,
maybe I'll go out do some crime,
meet a nice bird,
play a game of Cludeo,
join a gym,
learn Judo.
There’s a whole other life out there,
but do I care?
The whole world to explore
all those jobs to ignore.
I know what I’ll do instead
I think I’ll spend my life in bed.
By DoubleDipped
Dig It
Diggin, diggin, diggin deep holes.
In my arms, in my legs.
My head it swirls.
I feel the pin, and I feel the pain.
Mum I feel the sorrow,
And I feel the shame.
By Wigstar 2002
The Worried Man
If I don’t give a shit about myself,
how can I give a shit about other people?
Said the man to the drug counsellor
after he’d banged up another white hit
and took a sip
from the Valium linctus bottle.
Smack is my life,
I might as well be done with it,
marry it,
and let the bitch be my wife.
We all say shit we don’t mean,
and we all think shit we don’t say,
but leave that discussion for another day,
coz today is a quiet day.
If I got told I had cancer and had a month to live,
I would cut this implant out my gut,
and go back on the smack in a flash.
The choice is between living and being miserable,
or being high on a slow ride to die.
The counsellor sighed,
I nearly cried,
but with laughter.
What does he know?
About the reasons, the problems, the issues in my head,
maybe I’ll write another poem and show him when I’m dead.
how can I give a shit about other people?
Said the man to the drug counsellor
after he’d banged up another white hit
and took a sip
from the Valium linctus bottle.
Smack is my life,
I might as well be done with it,
marry it,
and let the bitch be my wife.
We all say shit we don’t mean,
and we all think shit we don’t say,
but leave that discussion for another day,
coz today is a quiet day.
If I got told I had cancer and had a month to live,
I would cut this implant out my gut,
and go back on the smack in a flash.
The choice is between living and being miserable,
or being high on a slow ride to die.
The counsellor sighed,
I nearly cried,
but with laughter.
What does he know?
About the reasons, the problems, the issues in my head,
maybe I’ll write another poem and show him when I’m dead.
By Doubledipped
Brown Bitch
I’m in love with a lady,
Her name is brown.
She consumes my heart,
Makes me forget,
Everything,
For a while.
But then I need her beside me,
Again.
I cannot live without her.
She scares me yet I cannot leave.
Together we will die
Hand in hand,
I fear that my funeral has already been planned.
Her name is brown.
She consumes my heart,
Makes me forget,
Everything,
For a while.
But then I need her beside me,
Again.
I cannot live without her.
She scares me yet I cannot leave.
Together we will die
Hand in hand,
I fear that my funeral has already been planned.
By Doubledipped
Getting Clean
The joys of trying to get clean
So I am currently planning to get clean. Its been two years in the making so far since my last dismal attempt. I spent New Year in a detox centre going through hell and then within two weeks I was back on it. It was a Friday and I was at work. I remember getting into an argument at work with my boss and another member of staff and having to walk out the office because I was about to throw someone through a window. I went home hoping to talk about it with my old man and ended up having a massive row with him. I could have easily thrown him through a window as well. I'm quite a placid person on the smack but seem to flip out very easily when clean which is one of the reasons I always end up back on the gear, I get tired of waking up in police cells with sore fists. So I stormed out to avoid a fight and ended up scoring some gear.
Later that night I went home and at the back of a drawer found an old bottle of methadone. My Dad was supposed to clear my room whilst I was in detox but he had obviously missed this well hidden bottle. So feeling like shit and thinking I was probably getting the sack on Monday as well as thrown out the house in the morning I guzzled the lot down. I didn't die or even OD just slept for the rest of the weekend. It was later that I realised the bottle was one I had watered down with the intent of selling it to get some score money. So I was saved by my own deviousness.
Anyway that was the end of that little drug free break in a 10 year period of opiate abuse. I am one of those people that when "clean" only need to dabble once for it to snowball back to heavy habit. It has taken me years to come to that knowledge but for some reason everytime I will go through pure hell getting the shit out my body but within a couple of weeks will have forgotten that hardship. "One little boot won't hurt" seems to be a recurring sentence that always leads me back to where I am now today. Its something that I hope I can manage to stick to next time but knowing how my brain works when clean, which is totally different from now, means that the only chance I have of surviving those first 4-6 months off gear is by having one of those fucking expensive Naltroxone implants injected into my stomach. So if anyone wants to donate the £1000 needed then post a comment and if I get enough responses I might put one of those Paypal donate buttons up. Otherwise its another dastardly bank loan for me. Oh the joys of smack. If only I could put aside some of that money I spend each day on it I'd have enough for 5 implants by October. But that aint going to happen is it. Thus the dilema at the heart of my addiction. A score in the pin is always goin to win. Laters.
My Mum
Mum sits there,
In front of the tele,
Tray of food sitting on her belly.
Eating, thinking,
Watching Eastenders.
What’s in her head I think and wonder,
Washing, ironing,
Cleaning, shopping?
Her house is proud,
But I don’t see her stopping.
Or does she aspire to greater things?
Probably.
But I wouldn’t know, she is only my mum,
With me as a fuckup as her only son.
Wasting time with my dangerous habits,
My selfish behaviour.
Does she think she could have made better?
Does she want me to succeed?
Does she want me to be good?
Healthy,
Alive.
All I want is my shirts to be ironed,
And the funny thing is,
She doesn’t seem to mind.
That’s why I love her so much.
My mum.
By DoubleDipped (2000)
Gear Pixies
The gear pixies are here,
They’re at it again,
Stealing stuff,
For personal gain.
It was here a minute ago,
I saw it there.
No one would nick it,
No one would dare.
The only people,
With big enough balls,
Are those little pixies,
3 inches tall.
They come round here,
When everyone’s stoned,
And when no-ones looking,
They nick your bone.
Your smack, your cash,
Your pills your hash.
When they go pinching,
They make sure your mashed.
So you blame your mates,
You have a go,
But where your gears gone,
Nobody knows.
You check all your pockets,
You jump up and down.
You check all the tops,
You check on the ground.
Your gears disappeared,
Into thin air.
You punch a wall,
You pull at your hair.
Wherever its gone,
One things for sure,
Whatever you had,
You have no more.
Those pixies have robbed you,
They’ve done you good.
They’ve sneaked in your gaff,
And stole what they could.
So while your crying,
Dabbing at tears.
Just think of those pixies,
Smoking your gear.
By DoubleDipped
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