Detox 5 and other magical detoxes

Coming off heroin is easy I've done it lots of times...

Smack addiction is not an easy habit to kick and no-one should ever believe those adverts that promise to get you clean pain free within 5 days. For a cost of £2.5k you will be locked in a room on a ward in a private "hospital" and for 4 and a half days force fed a little pot full of valium, quinine, britlofex and other pills every 2 hours whether you want them or not. Even if you're asleep you will be woken up to be given your meds along with a blood pressure test. On the Thursday at lunch time you will be given half a naltroxone tablet which will kick any remaining gear out your system and then you'll be offered a weetabix or two to eat. Friday lunch time you will have a little chat with the shrink to see if you have learnt your lesson given a couple months prescription of sleeping pills and out the door you go never to hear from them again.

If that sounds good to you then crack on but it doesn't work for most people. For one thing you're not asleep for the whole 5 days you just will have a hard time remembering going stir crazy, trying to break through then jump out the barred windows or getting strong armed back to your room when you go for a benzo induced wander to pass the time. Plus the after care is shit. Why, because there is no after care. As I said at the beginning coming of gear is the easy part its the staying off thats the hard part. You need support and help as soon as your clean and its very easy to just walk out of the detox center up to the nearset big issue seller and score a bag. Either that or walk straight into the nearest pub and go bang on the pop because its the only thing that will stop your legs shaking from the naltroxone.

Some people try the naltroxone implants and I myself have tried both the the 6 month implants (at a cost of £1200 at the time) and the pills which my Mum used to have to force down my throat every morning. I used to be clever and hide them under my tounge and then spit them out until one day I accidentally swallowed one. I had to wait til she had cleared off before going to the toilet and trying to force myself to throw it back up. No joy. Half an hour later pure hell began. If you have never ever wished death upon yourself to ease the pain of living then try taking a naltroxone with gear in your system. Having it fly out of both ends with adrenaline pumping round your body and the sudden rush of feelings both mental and physical that come flying back to you as the opiates are kicked off those receptors by the heavy DM boot wearing naltroxone is enough to make you wish for a quick end. I literally crawled the half mile to the nearest dealers house and smoked £50 worth of brown just to take the edge off.

If you can handle that sort of cluck then at least its quick. A 5 day cluck in one day with the worst part over in the first 3 hours (if you survive).

The implant although expensive is better than the pills for the following reason. Once you have it in you there is no way you can cheat yourself unlike the pills which you can avoid taking. Therefore I found that I thought about doing it less because I knew I couldn't unless I cut it out of my gut (and I know 2 people who have done just that). However every so often I would still try a boot to see if it had worn off and you will find some implants last 6months and others like my first one did lasted almost a year.

Also if your implant goes tits up which they often do then there is no money back from the Stapleford Centre or Detox 5. I know someone who a month after having the implant it started leaking its pellets into his gut. He was happy as it meant he could get a hit but his gut was infected and once he tried contacting them for a replacement they said he would have to pay.
Remember these Naltroxone implants haven't actually been approved properly by our health service and often they get impounded on entering the country due to their semi legal status.

However pills or implant if you are not ready to get off it then there is no point in even trying. Doing it for someone elses benefit like a girlfirend or family just means you will spend that time cheating and plotting a way back to the gear and £2,500 is a lot of money to spend just to go back on the gear at the end.

Another thing about naltroxone is the overdose effect. The only two times I have been to hospital due to overdosing it when I have had hits after stopping taking the naltroxone. You can stop the pills one day and bang up that day, the next day and the day after with no affect then on the fourth day you could have half a bag and go straight into a coma.

I also know some people who have done the Detox 5 trip to Spain in Alicante and been knocked out with injected meds and had the naltroxone implant sewn straight into their gut. They were supposed to be unconsious for the whole period but can remember going mad literally with the pain of the naltroxone kicking the smack out their brain literally. Once again does not remembering the event completley due to memory affecting meds actually equal a pain free experience>? No I don't think it does and nor did they.

So there you have it. Not a medical opinion but my opinion on the matter as someone who has tried most detox methods. As I said coming off smack is easy I've done it lots of times.

New Years Resolutions

Not another unfulfilled new years resolution

Right this is the first lot of poems I'm putting up on this new site. I used to actually have a dedicated site for all my poems but then again I used to have a lot of other things as well including in no particular order: my health, a fit rich girlfriend, no debts, veins, money in the bank. Well not to worry coz I may be what the Oxford Dictionary terms a "fuck up" but I'm not finished yet. You know why?? Coz I have a plan. Yes I may have been in this game since 97 and yes a lot of good friends have fallen along the way but I am still standing and have a little thing called hope. A bit of that and the knowledge that whatever comes to pass I am still a good person no matter what bad shit I have done in the past is keeping me headstrong. So I wrote a list this New Years day of things I want to do this year and starting writing again was one of them.

Life is a long journey made up of many little steps and the first step of mine is to put up all my old material in the hope that it will inspire me to write some new stuff. So here it is. Make of it what you will. If you have some good stuff of your own feel free to post. And to anyone out there who cares: have a good life if you want one! Laters.

Jingle Jangle

Jingle Jangle, Jingle Jangle
My heads up my arse like a fucking spangle.
Coz I'm banged up, Clanged up and rattling to fuck,
but that's the price I pay for running out of luck.
Prison food, the dog food, all the fucking swill,
none of it matters when you're feeling this ill.
The bunk beds, razors edge, I'm on my torture rack,
none of it would matter if someone would give me some smack.
Keep twisting and turning in a moments toil,
God I wish I had a beetle crawling down the foil.
These messed up games, the ones we like to play,
all I wanted was a gram a day.
So hurry up Joey, you said you'd be quick,
shit it's getting late, looks like I'm gonna go sick.
There's sweat on my back and fire in my brain,
I aint ever gonna touch that shit again.
All right babe, just a touch, just to see it pass,
then I promise you finito at last.
So what ever comes, or come what may,
the Wigstars the man, let me hear you say,
Jingle Jangle, Jingle Jangle,
I'm all fucked up, I'm a fucking Spangle.

By Steven "Michael" Williams

Freedom of the Street

I met a tramp with a stomach cramp,
about to bang up a methadone amp.
He was hungry, cold, smelly and old,
had a runny nose from a smack addicts cold.
He justs wants to be warm.
Warm and stoned,
his blagging technique a fine art he’s honed.
Years of begging, robbing and skanking,
a loveless life but free of nagging.
He’s his own man, a man of the street,
living life light on his feet.
He don’t care that no-one else does,
he survives this life with a heroin buzz.
People may stare, spit and shout,
but the drink and drugs block it all out.
He sits on the floor, all alone,
Burtons shop doorway his very own home.

By DoubleDipped

Sweet Dreams

Sweet Dreams,
dreaming of you,
all dressed in blue,
pink or red,
whatever you wear, you’re in my head.
All night, I toss and turn,
hoping for that chance,
a kiss on the lips,
a midnight dance.
The moonlight weeping,
holding hands and making plans,
wedding bells and baby smells,
a partner for life with my imaginary wife.
I touch my cock.
sweet dreams turn to wet dreams.
I wake up covered in sweat,
but I’ll never forget.
That’s where she’ll stay,
in my head, but in my bed..

By DoubleDipped

Jobless Opportunities

Being on the dole,
what fun!
Oh the joy of signing on.
the pleasure of the unemployed,
the workers unite, the jobless destroyed.
Sitting at home, alone,
smoking bone,
chatting on my mobile phone.
I need drugs to pass the time,
maybe I'll go out do some crime,
meet a nice bird,
play a game of Cludeo,
join a gym,
learn Judo.
There’s a whole other life out there,
but do I care?
The whole world to explore
all those jobs to ignore.
I know what I’ll do instead
I think I’ll spend my life in bed.

By DoubleDipped

Dig It

Diggin, diggin, diggin deep holes.
In my arms, in my legs.
My head it swirls.
I feel the pin, and I feel the pain.
Mum I feel the sorrow,
And I feel the shame.

By Wigstar 2002

The Worried Man

If I don’t give a shit about myself,
how can I give a shit about other people?
Said the man to the drug counsellor
after he’d banged up another white hit
and took a sip
from the Valium linctus bottle.
Smack is my life,
I might as well be done with it,
marry it,
and let the bitch be my wife.
We all say shit we don’t mean,
and we all think shit we don’t say,
but leave that discussion for another day,
coz today is a quiet day.
If I got told I had cancer and had a month to live,
I would cut this implant out my gut,
and go back on the smack in a flash.
The choice is between living and being miserable,
or being high on a slow ride to die.
The counsellor sighed,
I nearly cried,
but with laughter.
What does he know?
About the reasons, the problems, the issues in my head,
maybe I’ll write another poem and show him when I’m dead.

By Doubledipped

Brown Bitch

I’m in love with a lady,
Her name is brown.
She consumes my heart,
Makes me forget,
Everything,
For a while.
But then I need her beside me,
Again.
I cannot live without her.
She scares me yet I cannot leave.
Together we will die
Hand in hand,
I fear that my funeral has already been planned.

By Doubledipped